This blog is supposed to be for an assignment. I need to do a project for one of my classes... I can interview some parents I know or I can start a blog. Considering I always have so much to say, I think a blog fits me perfectly. I hope that this blog will go on for longer than this semester. I hope for it to become a digital journey of the things I learn while I raise these crazy little humans I have been given.
As for my Parenting Skills class, I need to share what I have been learning. I thought that I would make a post of what stands out to me each week. During Week 1, we learned about the parenting pyramid. Let's see if I can try to make this happen...
* Am I correcting my children without teaching them?
* What is the quality of my relationship with my children?
* What is the quality of my relationship with my spouse?
* How pure is my "way of being?"
I love how this pyramid can keep us in check as parents and as normal, everyday people. I love seeing how each aspect of this pyramid builds on the one before it. In order for me to have a good relationship with my husband, I need to have a good idea of my personal way of being or who I am as a person. In order for my relationship to be good with my children, I need to have a good relationship with my spouse. For me to be able to teach my children, I need to have a good relationship with them. And I can't correct them properly if I am not able to teach them. I love this quote regarding the pyramid: "The effectiveness of what we do here depends on our effectiveness in doing everything that lies below it" (The Arbinger Company, 1998, p.7).
But here are my thoughts on this:
FIRST, I loved learning that correction is the smallest part of parenting. We aren't sent here by our Father in Heaven to bully, abuse, demean, or constantly correct or punish our children! We are here to bring them to the earth so their spirits can receive bodies and help them find their way in the short 18 years they allow us to. We have a responsibility to raise them in love and righteousness. Not constant correction. Even though some days it feels like correction rules the roost in my home.
SECOND, I think that sometimes we have to skip a step or level in the pyramid and put trust in the Lord that He will help strengthen us to continue up this journey. For example, I have a very rocky relationship with my husband. Lucky for you, I'm in a PARENTING class and not marriage class. That would be an entirely different blog. But my relationship with my children is a rock solid, hardcore, tough as nails foundation. We thrive on helping one another, annoying one another, and building trust in each other. My children are my life and I am grateful for these unique beings every single day of my life. My relationship with them has not depended on my relationship with my husband... however, I have been told during very sacred moments in Priesthood blessings the reasons I have my children. So, like I was thinking and pondering out loud, maybe sometimes we need to skip a level to continue on this pyramid.
That leads my thinking to The Family Proclamation and the line at the end that says adjustments may need to be made or something to that effect. Either way, I love knowing that in order for me to correctly teach my children all that Heavenly Father needs me to, I need to have a good sense of my self and the relationships I have with them first. I can't tell them they are children of God if I don't very well believe that myself, can I?
References
The Arbinger Company. (1998). The Parenting Pyramid. The Arbinger Company.
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